There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize