do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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