Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
