I wish you could order shots online.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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