Sorry, I don't speak sober.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
