reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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