i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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