once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
