apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Dicks are not precious.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize