we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
