Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
