Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
