I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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