Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
