toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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