i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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