areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
