I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Pooping to opera.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize