That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
