Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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