that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
