I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
