i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize