I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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