How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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