Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
