You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
