i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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