if i can run in heels then i can drive
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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