i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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