Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
