I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
where are you?
Hypothermia
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
