Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
