Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
