ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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