forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
