we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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