are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
