the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
