she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Holy sore nipples Batman
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
