i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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