Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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