What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Boobs are out for the taking
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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