Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I had to cum in my sink.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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