he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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