I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
