her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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