went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
