your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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