Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
