Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
