physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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