what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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