I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
