well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize