Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
