well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
