is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
