I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You pole danced in your parka.
And then my night got REAL pukey
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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