so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
