Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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