are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
