i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
