he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
