Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
