Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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