I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
