Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Randomize
